SEEKING HAPPINESS: EXPLORING THE CROSS OF LIFE

The search for happiness is as old as time itself and no one has the perfect formula yet.

But several people have come close to perfection. These are considered the ten best happiness quotes:

  1. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” —Mahatma Gandhi
  2. “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” —George Sand
  3. “Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” —Omar Khayyam
  4. “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” —Franklin D. Roosevelt
  5. “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” —The Dalai Lama
  6. “Adopt the pace of nature: Her secret is patience.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  7. “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” —Mother Theresa
  8. “Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” —Helen Keller
  9. “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
  10. “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” —William James

Reading quotes will not bring you happiness.

Like most things in life, happiness is not given, it’s earned. (Usually after some hard effort.)

In his book titled: What Men Live By: Love Play Work Worship, Richard C Cabot, MD stated: “Every human being ………… needs the blessing of God through these four gifts.” [Love Play Work Worship] Dr. Cabot said, “To be happy it is necessary to strive for balance in your personal life.” He explained the importance of balance via a simple diagram with “Happiness” in the middle and four arms labeled Work, Play, Love, and Worship. The diagram became known as the Cabot Cross.

A Miami dentist, Dr. L.D. Pankey incorporated the Cabot Cross as a part of his personal beliefs which he called the Pankey Philosophy. Eventually, the Cabot Cross became the Cross of life. It was at the Pankey Institute of Advanced Dental Education in Miami that I first learned of the Cross of Life.

The philosophy of the Cross of Life centers around this balance between Love, Play, Work, and Worship.

Every person has twenty-four hours each day. Those hours can be spent in any or all of the four arms of the cross. Happiness flows from the balance of time spent pursuing each of the four principles of the Cross of Life.

Too many hours spent working means that there are fewer available hours for the other three principles. The same rule holds for too much time spent in play, worship, or love. Happiness means something different for everyone. The Pankey Philosophy was created to provide a path toward mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health.

Let’s look at each of these four principles. The following excerpts were taken from articles by William J. Davis, DDS written for dentists, but the same principles apply to everyone:

Work

A balanced life requires challenging work that’s enjoyable for the most part. All work can feel unexciting from time to time, but the overall feeling should be one of enjoyment and appreciation. Some characteristics of a satisfying work-life are:

Enough variety and predictability to suit your aims, goals, objectives, circumstances, and temperament—Some people thrive on variety, newness, and unpredictability. Others work best in a stable, predictable setting. Self-knowledge is the first step toward creating a satisfying work life.

Enough challenge to call upon your powers of mastery—Studies show that people who are most resistant to the effects of stress enjoy being challenged by their work. Many great artists, writers, and musicians lived long and productive lives facing the ongoing challenges of their creative endeavors.

A realistic workload—While challenge can be a healthy thing, too much challenge can be overwhelming. The constant feeling of being behind, of never quite catching up, or of making deadlines can lead to distress and illness.

A boss, even if it is yourself—People who say “It must be nice being your own boss” miss the point. They equate being your own boss with having no boss at all. Everyone requires management, supervision, and feedback to do their best work. If you are your own boss, you must be a successful manager to yourself.

A chance to achieve, create, and see the fruits of your labor—Much has been written about the efficiency of Japanese workers, largely attributed to their participation in workplace decisions. They feel a sense of achievement in their work and pride in their products. The greater the sense of accomplishment, the higher the quality of work, and the more satisfaction felt on the part of the workers.

A chance to be absorbed in the work—Most people have had a job where they watched the clock and wished the day would be over. This is a tragedy. With life as brief and precious as it is, work should be interesting and absorbing so that time slips by quietly and unnoticed.

Recognition and compensation with appreciation—Work without acknowledgment or compensation is ultimately demoralizing. For continued happiness and productivity, reward, in the form of financial compensation, praise, recognition and/or acknowledgment, is imperative.

Work-life as a step toward worthy goals—One thing that distinguishes humans from other life forms is a sense of purpose and destiny. Albert Schweitzer sums it up well: “It is not enough merely to exist. It’s not enough to say, ‘I’m earning enough to live and to support my family. I do my work well. I am a good father. I am a good husband. I am a good church goer.’ That’s all very well. But you must do something more. Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to make his own self more noble and to realize his own true worth.”

How is your work life? Do you have too much challenge or not enough? Are you bored or stimulated? How do you feel about work when you get up each morning and leave each day? Do you feel what you do is worthwhile? Do you accomplish things? How do you feel about your patients, staff, and associates? Are you getting enough recognition and compensation? Does your daily work relate to your lifetime goals?

Play

Play is not merely recreation, it is “re-creation,” the child-like spirit that helps people renew themselves through their activities, including work. In the book “What men live by,” Dr. Cabot compares the way a child walks to school—alive, aware, wandering, wondering—and the way many adults trudge to work—solemn, self-absorbed, head down, unaware of their surroundings. Notice how you walk down the street. What “background music” accompanies you? Is it a funeral dirge? Try an experiment by smiling, breathing deeply, and noticing your surroundings, even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll be amazed at how positively people respond to you.

Play keeps the soul alive,” said Dr. Cabot. Play can be revitalizing, particularly in situations of overwork and stress. Play is a means of expression. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” But it’s more than “dull boy” insurance. It is an end in itself, a way of expressing yourself in the world.

Another dimension of play is creation. There is an element of artistry in dentistry, but many dentists also find pleasure in other forms of artistic creation, such as gardening, making stained glass windows, cabinet-making, restoring antique automobiles, and glass blowing. Creativity can be therapeutic as well as fun.

Is there enough play in your life? Do you enjoy leisure activities with family and friends? Do you find yourself talking shop even while playing golf? When was the last time you asked a waitress or cab driver if she or he had heard any good jokes? What activities do you do for the sheer pleasure of doing them? The longer you wait, the more you will miss.

Love

Love has many different meanings. Love in its most basic and powerful form means accepting and caring for others unconditionally, without expectation of reward or reciprocation. The Greeks called it “agape,” or selfless love, encompassing the divinity of all people and what they have to offer the world. The Greeks called romantic love “eros” and defined a third type of love, “phila,” as brotherly love.

Richard Alpert, a former Harvard psychology professor who spent 15 years studying Eastern religious thoughts, related how upset his father became when he gave money to strangers. Dr. Alpert pointed out that his father had given money to his Uncle Henry when he needed it. “But that was Uncle Henry,” his father protested. “To me, everyone is Uncle Henry,” Alpert said. Not that people should give everything they own, but an attitude of giving has positive effects on both the giver and receivers. It would be a different world if we treated other people as our brothers and sisters.

The love of family members and close friends is an important part of life. A study conducted at the University of California at Berkeley concluded that people with family or a close network of friends tend to stay healthier and live longer than those lacking a social network (greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/). Furthermore, the loss of a loved one has been linked to a breakdown of the immunological system and diseases. According to Dr. Larry Dosset of the Dallas Diagnosis Biofeedback Laboratory, cancer is the most common cause of death among widows and widowers. Close personal relationships are not automatic, they need cultivation, time, and energy spent listening, caring, and sharing.

Although we think of love for a husband or wife as focusing on that person, relationships that are most enduring involve relating to the world or to a purpose beyond ourselves. It has been said that love consists not of looking one another in the eyes, but of looking outwardly in the same direction. Sometimes, love can be renewed and extended by sharing a similar vision.

Is your work life dominating your time and interfering in your relationships with your spouse, children, family, and friends? Are you a good father, husband, and son? Are you a good mother, wife, and daughter? Are you a good friend, employer, and employee? These relationships are valuable and irreplaceable. If this part of your life is out of balance, make it your goal to revitalize these important relationships.

Worship

Worship, whether seen as formal prayer, meditation, solitude, or any other form, provides a break in the perpetual motion of daily existence. “Wonder brings ordinary life to a standstill,” Richard Cabot said. Similarly, pausing to reflect, meditate, or pray can provide perspective and a sense of peace. Momentarily stopping the wheels of life in this way can often lead to profound insight. If you’re lost in the woods, climb the highest tree.

In recent years, meditation has been recommended by physicians and psychologists as a way to relax and relieve stress. But it can do more than that. It can quiet the inner mind and soul, resulting in a sense of clarity and direction. Answers to questions might become more clear. Abraham Lincoln used prayer for guidance during the darkest days of the Civil War. He said, “I am not trying to find out whether God is on our side, but whether we are on His.”

Worship is a very personal thing. For some it means direct communication with God or a god-like image. For others it means experiencing the connections among all living things. Regardless of the words used, worship adds a dimension of purpose to our actions. It reflects love, a broader view of self-interest, and an ability to believe in something greater than ourselves, which is the highest essence of being human.

Worship does not always take the form of organized religion. Love, respect, and appreciation of life need not be associated with any particular belief system. Something as pure and simple as a breathtaking scene illuminated by sunshine is a form of worship, providing an inner sense of gratitude and wonder. Worship or faith also helps provide strength during disaster or tragedy. Faith and hope provide a strong foundation for stability and purpose for life.

Is worship a part of your life? Do you pause in your daily activities to reflect and feel some inner peace? When you feel tense or upset, can you climb the highest tree and gain perspective? Can you appreciate the positive aspects of all situations?

How does happiness relate to success?

It is a shared belief that success brings happiness. In his book, The Happiness Advantage,” author Shawn Anchor explains that rather than success bringing happiness, that success is actually a product of our happiness. Achor outlines several principles to use that are “specific, actionable, and proven patterns that predict success and achievement.”

Here are some of his principles:

  • The Tetris Effect- Tetris players fit pieces together to prevent pileups and losing the game. In life, there are always chances to fit the pieces together better to increase success.
  • Falling Up- Problems are unavoidable. But, instead of frustration or depression, the choice can become falling up instead of falling down. Looking for the best outcome can make someone stronger.
  • Social Investment- A positive mindset can be difficult to maintain. The support of family and friends can reinforce the idea that you are not alone, and help to maintain a positive mindset.
  • Group Attitude- Sharing positive ideas, and having others share positive ideas with you will inspire positive thinking.

Achor states, “Our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive.”

Happiness is a lifelong goal and whether one believes that “happiness brings success” or “success brings happiness”, this post provides ample information. Most people struggle with happiness at some point in life, with even the richest and most powerful people struggling with happiness. 

The Cross of Life provides a pathway to happiness. It’s your life, and you decide which path you take.

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