“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” -Hunter S. Thompson
As one moves down the road of life it is normal to consider one’s legacy to the world, and if one has had a “life well-lived.” Most people start life thinking they need to make a lot of money, live in the biggest house in the neighborhood, and have the most toys in order to impact the world. It is usually as one ages that one realizes that the most important things in life involve leaving the world a better place, giving rather than receiving, and having a life well-lived.
One of the most poignant moments in the movie Saving Private Ryan occurs when the elder Ryan visits the gravesite of Captain John Miller, who saved his life many years before. After reflecting on all the lives lost to preserve his own life he turns to his wife and implores her to tell him that he’d led a good life, and that he was a good man. In other words, that his life had justified the cost.
What Does a Life Well Lived Mean?
According to Mark Travers, PhD in Psychology Today:
Here’s how the researchers define the components of life fulfillment:
- Unfolded self and life refer to the extent to which one can pursue projects that personally matter, be their unique self, and lead a true life.
- Worthwhile life relates to the perception that one can invest one’s own capacities well and can live a meaningful life.
- Positive impact and legacy refer to making a positive difference, leaving something of value, and doing something with one’s life that matters to others.
The pursuit of a life well lived is a noble lifelong goal. Does the movie star that wins an Oscar have a life well-lived after suffering through multiple divorces? Does a professional athlete have a well lived-life if financially strapped by poor financial decisions? Does the multimillionaire hedge fund manager have a life well-lived if accused, tried, and convicted of fraud? How about everyday workers who buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have available? What about the high profile professional that is morally corrupt? Can any of these individuals truly state that they have a life well-lived?
At first glance the examples above may seem to represent the height of success, but money, fame, or recognition in and of themselves don’t confer a life well lived on their owners. Does anything they do have a lasting impact on the world, or leave the world a better place for their having been alive? What positive impact or legacy do they provide? What do they provide that matters to others, and what do they provide of value to the world?
The blog HAPPINESS AND THE CROSS OF LIFE speaks about a life well-lived in relation to balance in life. It is the belief of many learned individuals that a life well lived is the result of the balance of work, play, love, and worship. The interplay and balance of these four subjects means finding what is ENOUGH in each of these areas. ENOUGH and HAPPINESS create the framework for a life well-lived, and maximize the potential for each person to leave this world better for their having been alive.
We’ll consider a well-lived life within the context of Enough. How does a well-lived life correlate to money, work, and purpose.
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Money and a Well-Lived Life
- A well-lived life doesn’t necessarily mean extreme wealth- a well-lived life considers having enough money to provide for personal and family needs.
- Providing for a family’s needs- but not necessarily providing everything a family wants.
- Avoiding unnecessary debt- purchases that depreciate in value such as boats, hobby vehicles, or consumer debt all create a huge drag on future wealth creation.
- Spending too much on a car or home- as a general rule, total home mortgage payments should not exceed 30% of income. Exceedingly high auto mortgages can also be a drag on future wealth creation.
- Not taking advantage of wealth creation opportunities- most employers offer some type of retirement plan. Not taking advantage of “free” employer matches, or not starting a retirement plan if self-employed will cripple future wealth potential because of the missed effects of compounding and a long time horizon. (See: INVESTMENTS AND COMPOUND INTEREST .)
- Having an emergency fund to mediate emergency situations that arise.
- Spending more than you make- living over one’s means, either short-term or long-term is the quickest way to remain financially unstable.
- Not having a Plan- a plan helps to clarify and visualize a successful future (See: HAVING A “PLAN”.)
- Spending money on things instead of experiences- money spent on individual or family experiences create memories that, unlike things; don’t depreciate, but gain value over time.
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Work and a Life Well-Lived
- Working primarily to make money- one of the quickest roads to unhappiness and mental stress is to work at a job or profession that is personally undesirable. It is pretty normal to have some things related to a job or profession that are undesirable. But, going to work every day doing something you hate is not healthy. No amount of money is worth a miserable life.
- Wasting time- time is the one finite asset that we all possess. Once time is “spent” it is gone and never recovered. (A person can make more money or buy more things, but spent time is gone forever.)
- Working too much- this may seem odd, but people who “love their work” may spend too much time working, and not enough time in other pursuits (See: HAPPINESS AND THE CROSS OF LIFE.)
- Not creating work relationships- for most workers, the workplace creates lifelong friendships and personal relationships of shared occupation and ideals.
- Not working enough- being ready to retire on day one is a recipe for disaster. Most workers spend years at work creating adequate retirement accounts, occupational advancement, and lifelong occupational friendships.
- Changing jobs too often- will adversely impact job advancement, friendships, and lifestyle and retirement funding.
- Underutilization of skills- everyone has areas in which they excel. In addition to increasing job security and advancement, using personal skills normally increases job satisfaction and fulfillment.
- Not honing skills or accepting promotions- speaks to a life of unexplored possibilities. Just think how far most workers could travel in life if all skill and capacity was utilized.
- Not quitting when reaching ENOUGH- many people continue to work long periods after reaching the point of having enough money. These individuals continue to work, either because of lack of purpose in retirement, a true love of the work they do, or because of fear of the future due to lack of planning (See: HAVING A “PLAN”.)
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Purpose and a Well-Lived Life
- Even people who have not crafted their lives in a positive way have the chance to change their path later in life and make the world a better place.
- Purpose later in life doesn’t have to be earth shattering. Spending time with family, creating memories with children and grandchildren, local volunteer activities, and hobbies can all make a difference in the lives of other
- Positive impact and legacy refer to making a positive difference, leaving something of value, and doing something with one’s life that matters to others.
- As work careers wind down, new avenues open that can provide meaning, relevance, and purpose for the next stage of life.
- The idea of unfolded self and life in which one can pursue projects that personally matter, be a unique self, and lead a true life can be further explored during retirement.
- Once freed from the constraints of working full time, meaningful hobbies and pursuits can provide a legacy of impactful ideas and actions.
- Purpose can include looking outward instead of inward to consider how one’s actions can affect another person or group of people.
- Studies have found that spending money on others or giving to charity generates more happiness than spending on yourself.
- According to Rachelle Williams in Chopra: Giving can inspire great positive change and healing in a world that deeply needs it. Spiritual and religious leaders espouse the blessings of giving for a reason—it has the power to immediately shift one into a state of grace.Spending more time thinking about ways you can give is often accompanied by feelings of peace and joy. Here are some small ways you can strengthen the flow of giving in your life: *Compliment a stranger. *Say a silent prayer for someone. *Send a message of appreciation. *Give a hug. *Say “thank you.” *Give an anonymous gift.
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Final Thoughts
- As we age that we realize that the most important things that we can do involve leaving the world a better place, giving rather than receiving, and having a life well- lived.
- Many believe that a life-well lived is the result of the balance of work, play, love, and worship.
- There are ways to make a difference through money, work, and purpose.
- Studies have found that spending money on others or giving to charity generates more happiness than spending on yourself.
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