UNRAVELING THE PARADOX: COMPARING THE COST VS THE PRICE OF HAPPINESS

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You have to pay the price. You will find that everything in life exacts a price, and you will have to decide whether the price is worth the prize. -Sam Nunn

Sam Nunn is almost correct! In addition to exacting a price, everything in life also exacts a cost! And throughout life, each person must continually decide whether they are willing to pay the toll on the road to happiness.

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Dictionary.com defines cost as “the price paid to acquire, produce, accomplish, or maintain anything.” It can also mean “an outlay or expenditure of money, time, labor, trouble.” 

People use the two terms cost and price synonymously. But, when it comes to happiness, there is a huge difference between the cost and the price of happiness. Buying a new car or a new toy may provide some short-term happiness. But, does the price of a new car or toy justify the cost requirements, and will it create long-term happiness after the excitement of the new purchase wears away?

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I’ve been turning this subject over and over in my head for a while. Trying to adequately convey the difference between the price and the cost of happiness has proven to be infinitely more difficult than initially expected.

The price of an article is usually expressed in dollars and cents. The cost of an article is more abstract and would be expressed in different terms. The concept that I’ve developed is that on the road to happiness, everything has a cost that differs from its price, and those costs can be expressed in terms of monetary costs, physical costs, mental costs, and emotional costs.

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Most people consider the price of a new car in terms of the amount of money needed to purchase the car. (for example, the price of a new 2023 Mercedes is $70,000.00.) But, do most people consider the true cost of purchasing a new vehicle?

This is where things become a little darker. Many people want to buy a new $70,000 Mercedes-Benz. But, in addition to the price paid for the new Mercedes, what is the true cost? To pay for a new Mercedes the financial cost may include a reduction of lifestyle in other areas (maybe some “need” is unfunded [new clothes or shoes for the family] so that the “want” can be satisfied.) The physical cost may include working extra hours or doing extra projects to pay for the vehicle. Extra work may precipitate health-related problems from the increased workload. Extra work and projects take workers away from family for extended periods. The mental cost may include the anxiety and pressure that a large financial purchase may create. The emotional cost may be exhibited as depression or regret after the purchase.

Even with a price of $70,000, the true cost may be much higher. Will a new car provide momentary or lasting happiness? Does the purchase justify the true cost? Will the owner be forced to continue paying the financial, mental, emotional, and physical costs long after the ink on the title is dry?

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Happiness has a different meaning for every person. Happiness can also be divided into short-term happiness and long-term happiness. The purchase of a new vehicle may provide short-term happiness but normally does not create long-term happiness.

Long-term happiness comes from deep within a person, and usually is not the result of more things. It is for this reason that many people in retirement focus on creating experiences for their families instead of buying them things. The memories of these experiences remain long after automobiles, houses, boats, and other tangible assets are forgotten.

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Happiness and Financial Cost

A very common quote is “money can’t buy happiness.“ but, it’s also stated that “money can buy a higher level of misery!

There are people in the world who are very wealthy but are also very unhappy. There are also people in the world who have very little wealth but are extremely happy. Some people are extremely wealthy and are very happy. 

So, this prompts the question “does money provide long-term happiness?” If wealthy people can be both happy and unhappy, then financial wealth does not automatically provide long-term happiness. 

The road to financial independence is normally littered with choices that may or may not increase the cost of financial independence and long-term happiness. 

Does gaining financial independence mean more time spent away from family? Does it also involve choices and actions contrary to one’s moral compass? Does the quest for financial independence discourage or destroy long-held friendships? And most importantly, do these costs justify the attainment of financial independence, and will financial independence gained in this manner create long-term happiness?

There are always financial costs associated with working and gaining financial independence. True skill and sophistication occur in deciding when the costs outweigh the benefits. (Going all-in on work may create problems in work-life balance. See: HAPPINESS AND THE CROSS OF LIFE.)

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Happiness and Physical Cost

Work is a fact of life for most people. Many types of work necessitate some degree of physical labor. Jobs may require a great deal of manual labor which takes a physical toll over long periods. People speak about sacrificing their bodies for their job. This physical cost becomes a problem later in life when bodies cannot sustain repeated physical abuse and retirement approaches with a body decimated by time and work.

Physical work may provide happiness for some workers, but with a long-term detrimental effect. For these workers, the physical cost is high.

The opposite may be true for workers who engage in very little physical activity during their working careers. These workers approach retirement with physical problems associated with lack of exercise and health problems associated with lack of activity.

Professional athletes find that the physical cost of their profession is very high, with most athletes having very short professional careers due to the physical toll on their bodies.

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Happiness and Mental Cost

Life exacts a mental toll on virtually everyone with the result in some cases being mental or behavioral problems. Everyone would agree that life is stressful and that there is a mental cost associated with most choices and during most life stages. Mental cost is a function of stress, and stress can be the result of regret for past choices and fear of future options (See: LIVING JOYFULLY BY MINIMIZING REGRET.) people who feel their life has been well-lived seem to have a much greater sense of long-term happiness as life progresses.

Long-term happiness is not the result of a life without mistakes but is the result of coming to terms with past mistakes and finding peace and joy in living in the present without the guilt of the past and fear of the future (See: LIVING JOYFULLY BY MINIMIZING REGRET.)

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Happiness and Emotional Cost

Lasting Happiness is such an ephemeral concept, and so individual, that it is hard to even put into words. During my college years, I was employed by a local hospital to work nights, weekends, and holidays in the Blood Bank. I worked closely with physicians who care for critically ill patients. It was here I realized that I only thought I wanted to become a physician, realizing that I was unwilling to pay the cost associated with medical school, full-time practice, hospital rounds, and caring for critically ill and dying patients. The mental and emotional costs were too high! It was during this period that I started to focus on Dentistry. A career in Dentistry afforded me the chance to help people and have time outside of Dentistry to enjoy other aspects of life. I have great respect for my medical brothers but did not want to endure the ongoing mental and emotional aspects of a full-time practice in Medicine. When I became a dentist, I initially envisioned becoming one of the top dentists in the world. I quickly realized that following that path would exact a heavy cost in terms of abandoning the other three arms of the Cross of Life. My life would become about a career in Dentistry, with little time for worship, play, and love. I focused on becoming the best dentist possible, while still maintaining an active family life, faith life, and social life.

Has living my life in this way created lasting happiness? In my heart and soul, I feel the answer is yes. I would like to think I will spend my last days on Earth feeling my life was well-lived (hopefully, these last days of which I speak are still far away!)

Lasting happiness only comes after paying the costs associated with creating that happiness. Happiness is not given, it is always earned. The cost, whatever it may be, will vary in degree and intensity from person to person. 

No one can tell anyone else what will make them happy, how to make them happy, or for how long a period they will remain happy. Happiness comes from within, and each person must decide what cost they are willing to pay for happiness.

Lasting happiness is not a continuous waterfall, but more like the Sun rising and setting every day and returning, in some cases, after several days of bad weather. The Sun always returns, but maybe not with the brightness and frequency that every person desires. But the Sun, just like earned happiness, always returns!

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Final Thoughts

  • Everything in life exacts a price and a cost
  • Everything has a cost that differs from its price, and those costs can be expressed in terms of monetary costs, physical costs, mental costs, and emotional costs.
  • True skill and sophistication occur in life when deciding if the costs outweigh the benefits.
  • Life is full of inflection points where the price may be low or high, but always there’s a price to pay. Do you go to college, or go to work? Do you buy a house or rent an apartment? Do you save for a rainy day, or spend like there’s no tomorrow? Every choice has a cost attached, paid either in the present, or paid in the future as the outcomes of present decisions are revealed, and lasting happiness is created or destroyed.
  • Lasting happiness is not a continuous waterfall, but more like the Sun that rises and falls every day and returns throughout life.
  • Happiness comes from within, and each person must decide what cost they are willing to pay for happiness.

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