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“Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous.” – Confucius
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It’s over!
It’s the day after the night before, and I’m sitting quietly on my front porch.
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The 50th wedding anniversary celebration is officially over. The remaining anniversary party guests who traveled from out of state and attended the party two nights ago are leaving this morning to return home. What started several months ago as a planned celebration for approximately 60 people has come to fruition.
The last two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind, including a trip out of state for a mini-celebration on the week of our wedding anniversary. This trip was followed by completion of party details, our final party preparations, and our anniversary celebration two nights ago.
Our 50th wedding anniversary celebration was held in one of the event rooms at our local Homeowner’s club. We started the evening with a special blessing and reconsecration of our marriage by the pastor of our parish church. Our celebration included an abundance of food and drink, and a 50th wedding anniversary cake custom-designed by my wife and me using an AI program. Our AI-designed cake was prepared and baked by a local custom bakery. The Cross on our 50th wedding anniversary cake was the same Cross that was used on our original wedding cake over 50 years ago. We had live music throughout the three-hour celebration.
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I’m very happy to say that all of the advanced planning paid off. Our celebration was completed as planned with no unexpected problems.
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Here are Some of My Takeaways
*It was expensive! Renting an event space, and providing food and drink for approximately 60 people is pricey.
*Live music isn’t free, and custom cakes are significantly costlier than standard bakery cakes.
*This is where decisions about using money to buy things or experiences are pertinent.
*Yes, it was an expensive evening, but given the chance to re-create the celebration, I wouldn’t change anything, or spend less money. Not only did my wife and I create lasting memories, but we spent quality time with our children, and their spouses during the planning and preparation for our celebration. Creating memories doesn’t only include the big events, but also the quiet times spent together talking, planning, and sharing thoughts and ideas. Quiet times allow us to see the goodness in others (1 Kings 19:11–13).
*Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Our kids and their spouses were instrumental in making our 50th anniversary party successful. Even though our children lead full lives, they were a key component in the planning, preparation, and execution of our celebration. We initially felt we were burdening our kids with an additional project, instead of understanding they wanted to share in the preparation and not just show up for the celebration!
*Our 50th anniversary celebration was an opportunity to acknowledge how much we love our kids, their spouses, and our grandchildren. We wanted to acknowledge our friendship with our guests and thank them for sharing their lives with us.
*My wife and I still love each other very much. Our love has changed over 50 years. We have learned to embrace many realizations. We accept we are imperfect, and give grace to each other in our imperfections.
*We, as a couple, know about each other, but forget that our children and their spouses have not been here our whole lives! Before his blessing, our pastor asked my wife and me how we met, and for each of us to individually describe our first date. Our children were amazed because they had never heard this story! Later, I related the story of how a 24-year-old unemployed student convinced their mother to marry him (see: LESSONS FROM 50 YEARS OF MARRIAGE).
*We wanted our 50th wedding anniversary to be a celebration of our life together. More importantly, we wanted this to be a celebration of our love for family and friends, because family, and friends are where our true wealth resides.
*As we entered the City Club parking area at the end of the celebration, I noticed a small group of people. City Club hosted a rehearsal supper the same evening, and the wedding couple was a part of this parking area group. I walked over and expressed my best wishes on their upcoming marriage. I explained that while they were celebrating their rehearsal supper, my wife and I were in an adjacent space celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. For a moment, just a short moment, I was a bit jealous as I noted the look of excitement and anticipation on the young Groom’s face. He was glowing as he described their rehearsal night and upcoming wedding the next day. He and his soon-to-be wife have their whole life ahead of them.
*Oh, to be able to go back and re-live our lives! With this morning’s introspection, I realized that the reason I would enjoy going back and starting over is that I know how the story ends. My wife and I have already experienced the trials and tribulations of marriage, children, work, and life’s financial struggles, and are now experiencing happiness and success. It’s easy to say you want to go back and start over when the story has a happy ending.
*As they should be, this young couple is starting their journey with a sense of excitement and anticipation. They are unable to see the outcome of their marriage in 50 years. These thoughts gave me comfort, and with them the realization that I really don’t want to go back and start over from scratch. I would only want to go back and start over if I knew the result would be the same. This is a moot point since Time Travel is currently impossible, but thinking about this helped me to realize that I am happy and content. I want our lives to proceed and to live each day to the fullest.
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Final Thoughts
Even at age 74, executing an event of this size was a source of excitement and anxiety. My wife and I wanted everything to be perfect, with an uneventful celebration. We were excited for the celebration, but anxious about everything working out!
We have a wonderful family, and lots of great friends. We were glad to host this celebration, and happy to acknowledge the wonderful people surrounding us.
Things happen for a reason, and my brief conversation with the young groom in the City Club parking area helped me realize I am happy with my current life! Seeing the young couple also helped me to realize I would only want to go back and relive my life knowing the outcome would be the same.
This was a true “Carpe Diem” event, as we spent a couple of months in planning and preparation for our celebration. We wanted to make the most of our 50th wedding anniversary, starting with our trip the week of our wedding anniversary and culminating in our 50th anniversary party two days ago.
Our celebration didn’t end the night of the party. We hosted a brunch the following morning for family and out-of-state guests.
We’ve been running hot for the last two weeks and we’ll spend today doing as little as possible!
I want to thank readers and listeners for their congratulations and well wishes for our 50th wedding anniversary.
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