hfhhhfhhhf
dhhdhfhhf
I have a friend who has a great heart! He always agrees to help anyone who asks for assistance with any project or task.
My friend’s problem is that he never follows through with his commitment. He always means to help, but never actually helps. There is always a disconnect between his commitments and actions. This was a great source of stress on our friendship, and an ongoing aggravation because he never completed assigned projects.
Over several years, I realized that my friend’s problem became my problem because I failed to manage expectations. Once that became clear, my friend’s problem was no longer a problem. I began to manage interactions with my friend using a different approach. I assigned tasks to him with no expectations that the task would ever be completed.
Why would I assume this position, and why would I assign a task to someone who probably won’t do it?
Both good questions!
Because I changed the management of my expectations, I was no longer frustrated or disappointed. Because I expected nothing from my friend, his completion of any part of the task was viewed as an unexpected bonus. My philosophy in interacting with him became: “If you never expect anything, you’ll never be disappointed”.
Instead of viewing his lack of help as a disappointment, any assistance he gave was received as a bonus. I was still interacting with the same person, and the same general lack of assistance, but now with a different mindset.
By managing my expectations I was able to continue my relationship with my friend, even though his actions never changed.
Everything remained the same except the management of my expectations as they related to his actions. I began to understand that managing expectations has much to do with fostering a sense of having “Enough”.
Does that mean that someone should accept less than optimal results, or create a very low bar for their life’s expectations?
Absolutely not!!
Managing expectations is not about reaching a particular goal, or even attaining a certain financial level. Managing expectations has much more to do with mindset and happiness.
A basketball player who sets a goal to make 10 out of 10 free throws, and only makes 5 free throws is disappointed because his results are less than expected. If the same basketball player sets a goal of 1 free throw out of 10 and manages to make 5 free throws, he is excited because he’s exceeded his expectations. In both cases, the basketball player has made 5 free throws. The only difference in the two scenarios is the management of expectations. The numerical outcome for both examples is the same.
Much of life can be handled the same way.
If a person’s goal is to have a net worth of $2 million and manages to accumulate $1 million, that person may be disappointed. If the same person’s goal changes to the desire to retire comfortably, $1 million may be a source of comfort instead of disappointment.
Managing expectations is about aligning what you or others anticipate with what is realistically achievable. This involves clear communication, setting realistic goals, and being adaptable. Effective expectation management helps prevent disappointment, reduces stress, and fosters better relationships.
dhdhhdh
Key Aspects of Managing Expectations
Communication: Clearly articulating expectations, and understanding the expectations of others is essential in managing expectations. Asking clear questions helps to ensure mutual understanding of what is expected and when.
In many ways, I feel the digital age has actually decreased the level of communication. A text message or an email does not carry the same contextual message as a phone call or a face-to-face meeting.
Hearing the tone and inflection of someone’s voice adds context to the words.
Last week I received an email from a friend that concerned an upcoming event. In his email, he said we would arrive at a certain place one afternoon and drive to the event the following morning. His email also stated we would follow the same procedure for a second event. After I spoke with him I realized we would be driving from the place we were staying both the afternoon we arrived and the following morning.
This, obviously, was important information that was not clearly defined in the email. Speaking with him in person provided the information needed to fill the gaps in the email.
Even though all the information he provided was true, it did not have the context to understand the message. That’s the problem with digital formats, like email and text messages.
Setting Realistic Goals: Setting achievable goals within realistic timeframes helps prevent over-promising and under-delivering. With my friend, setting realistic goals meant no expectations.
The same parameters should be applied when setting personal goals. Much unhappiness stems from one’s inability to attain unreasonable self-imposed goals.
Just like my friend, giving yourself a little grace, and proper management of expectations provides a foundation for much better outcomes and increased happiness.
Adaptability: Recognizing that situations can change and being willing to adjust expectations accordingly is essential for navigating challenges and setbacks. An appropriate example would be a visit to the island of Santorini by my wife and me several years ago.
I visited Santorini as a teenager and fell in love with the charm and beauty of this small Greek island. Before leaving Santorini, I promised I would someday return with my wife so that she could experience its beauty. We booked a cruise that spent a day in Santorini. The cruise ship arrived during the night, and I awoke and stepped out onto the balcony to see not only Santorini, but four additional cruise ships! As we disembarked the cruise ship, we were informed that travel from the dock to the village of Thera could take from one to two hours arriving on the island, and when returning to the ship.
I realized that Santorini would look much like Bourbon Street in New Orleans on Mardi Gras day. The sleepy and charming Greek Island of my memory would not be replicated on this visit! Remaining adaptable allowed us to enjoy the island as much as possible under the existing conditions. Like many life situations, it wasn’t ideal, but it was as ideal as possible under existing conditions.
The philosophy of adaptability can be defined by the axiom: When you’re presented with lemons, make lemonade!
Self-Awareness: Understanding your own capabilities and limitations is key to setting realistic expectations for yourself and others.
If asked, my friend from the example above would reply that he was fully invested in any project to which he was assigned. He was totally oblivious to the fact that he was unable to complete tasks assigned to him.
Self-awareness is a difficult trait to develop because it requires that we view ourselves critically, and honestly. Being brutally honest can be very humbling.
Flexibility: Being open to different perspectives and approaches helps in adapting to changing circumstances and finding solutions.
It’s been said that as we age, our broad minds and narrow hips trade places!
Age tends to decrease flexibility. We tend to become less adaptable, as older people become more entrenched in certain behavioral patterns. Awareness and understanding of these changes can minimize, but not eliminate, these behavioral changes associated with aging.
Feedback: Regularly seeking and providing feedback allows course corrections and ensures that expectations remain aligned throughout a project or process. Receiving feedback is another situation that can be very humbling. It can also be an opportunity to continue to grow.
In my dental practice, I always welcomed feedback whether it was positive or negative. I enjoyed positive feedback, but encouraged negative feedback because negative feedback provided the best opportunity for growth. I always prompted patients to provide negative feedback, stating that I couldn’t correct what I wasn’t aware of.
Negative feedback is always humbling and each person must decide how willing they are to accept negative comments and their consequences.
cncnncnc
Why is it Important?
- Prevents Disappointment: By setting realistic expectations, you reduce the likelihood of disappointment when things don’t go as planned. There will always be disappointments in life!
- Reduces Stress: When expectations are clear and achievable, it can significantly reduce stress and anxiety.
- Improves Relationships: Clear communication and realistic expectations can lead to stronger, healthier relationships both personally and professionally.
- Enhances Performance: By focusing on achievable goals, individuals can better allocate their time and resources, leading to improved performance.
hjfhhfhf
fhfhhjhfhf
Final Thoughts
Managing expectations is a valuable skill that can be applied in various settings, from work projects to personal relationships. By focusing on clear communication, realistic goals, and adaptability, individuals can navigate challenges more effectively and build stronger foundations for success.
ffhhhfhf
fjfjjjf
If you’d like to be a part of a free online retirement community, join us on Facebook:
COMMENTS