HOW TO RUIN YOUR KIDS

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn. -Benjamin Franklin

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. -James Baldwin

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. -Anne Frank

My wife and I feel like we have three great kids! Most parents likely feel the same way. 

Raising and educating children is not easy. Kids don’t come with instruction books! Parenting information is not standardized. With kids, one size fits one, not one size fits all!

To understand the following information, it’s important to realize the blog is a “Bizarro World” blog. 

Bizarro World is a fictional, cube-shaped planet in the DC Comics universe, home to Bizarro and his imperfect duplicates of Earth’s inhabitants. Created by Bizarro using a Duplicator Ray, the world of Htrae (Earth spelled backward) operates on opposite logic, where everything is the opposite of Earth’s norms, such as ugliness being revered and perfection being a crime. “Bizarro World” is also used to describe any situation that feels illogical, backward, or contrary to what is considered normal. 

People reading this blog should strive to do the opposite of what is presented here!

There are many ways to ruin your kids because they can be misguided physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially.

The most important principle is to understand that parents don’t have all the answers! Using the same principles that your parents used when raising you may or may not be the path forward when raising your children.

Spank Your Kids

It builds character and teaches kids about disappointment.

Corporal punishment was a common practice when I was growing up. It was considered acceptable to spank children when they misbehaved. Modern research indicates that corporal punishment is counterproductive and harmful. According to UNC Health pediatrician Edward Pickens, M.D., “Discipline is not about punishment, it’s about setting expectations. The ultimate goal of discipline is to teach the child about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Spanking teaches children that it is OK to hit others or to use physical force when you are angry.”

Dr. Pickens offers reasons why parents should not spank their children:

  1. Spanking is not an effective form of discipline.
  2. Spanking teaches children that it is acceptable to use physical force when they’re angry.
  3. Children who have been spanked have a greater likelihood of developing anxiety and depression than children who have not been spanked.

Dr. Pickens also outlines more effective ways to discipline a child:

  1. Reward positive behavior and remove rewards when behavior becomes negative.
  2. Use timeouts to isolate a child from a desired activity for a short time.
  3. Always be consistent about expectations for appropriate behavior and what is considered inappropriate behavior.
  4. Be certain you and the child’s other parent are on the same page about rules and consequences.

Physical abuse is never OK!

Minimize and Discount Your Child’s Emotions

Tell them to quit “being a baby” and grow up.

Suppose a parent dismisses, ignores, or criticizes a child for their feelings (e.g., saying, “You’re too sensitive” or “Stop crying”). In that case, the child learns that their emotions are unimportant or wrong. This can lead to lasting self-esteem issues or an inability to regulate emotions.

Shame Your Kids

It teaches them they are never right and prevents them from being self-centered.

Manipulating a child by leveraging guilt (e.g., “I can’t believe you’d do this to me”) or shaming them for their behavior can lead to anxiety, depression, and a paralyzing fear of failure.

Withhold Love and Affection

Withholding love and affection, will make your kids, tougher and more self-sufficient.

Withdrawing affection or giving the “silent treatment” is a form of punishment that teaches a child that love is conditional and must be earned through good behavior. This creates insecurity and attachment issues.

Use Your Child as a Weapon Against an Ex-Spouse

This teaches a child, the importance of making the right choices in life.

Forcing a child to choose sides between parents, especially during or after a divorce, can create immense anxiety, guilt, and emotional turmoil for the child.

Dump Your Problems on Your Kids

This helps them to realize what it’s like to be an adult and have adult problems.

A parent who burdens their child with adult problems, like financial stress or marital issues, reverses the parent-child dynamic and can make the child feel responsible for their parent’s happiness. 

Make Up Rules as You Go Along and Keep Changing Them

This helps kids adapt to a changing environment.

An unpredictable environment with inconsistent rules can make a child insecure. It can lead children to act out in an effort to find where the real boundaries are.

Use Harsh and Aggressive Discipline Often

This teaches kids to know their boundaries and not push too hard.

Using yelling, threats, or physical punishment instills fear rather than discipline and teaches a child that violence and aggression are appropriate ways to solve problems.

Avoid Rules and Structure Because It’s Too Much Trouble

Rules are a lot of work, and kids break them anyway. Letting them do whatever they want whenever they want teaches them responsibility and time management.

Providing little or no structure, rules, or boundaries leaves children to fend for themselves without guidance. These children often struggle with self-regulation and impulses as they mature.

Be a Poor Role Model

Lie, cheat, and disrespect your kids. It’s what everyone else does!

Children learn by example. Lying, cheating, or disrespecting others as a parent teaches a child that such behaviors are acceptable. 

Live Life Through Your Kids

Push your kids to live all of the dreams you never had or accomplished. It’s a second chance for you to live your dream!

Basing your own self-worth on your child’s performance (e.g., academics, sports) and pushing them to live out your own unfulfilled dreams can make a child feel like a failure. This can be magnified if the child is unsuccessful in their efforts.

Be a “Helicopter Parent”

Overseeing every activity of your kids, and making decisions for them prevents those awkward moments of youth where they make poor choices.

Overprotective “helicopter parenting,” where you do everything for your child and prevent them from experiencing failure, can lead to a lack of resilience and self-confidence.

Always Take Credit for Your Children’s Successes

Kids are a “chip off the old block”. Children have no personality of their own.

While unintentional, taking credit for a child’s achievements or failing to celebrate their individual accomplishments can damage their self-esteem.

Channel Your Mental Problems Into Your Kids’ Behavior

They’re your kids and will probably end up with the same type of behavioral problems anyway.

A parent’s mental health directly impacts their child’s well-being. Not addressing your emotional needs can affect your child’s happiness, as they are naturally attuned to your mood. 

Teach Kids Bad Money Habits

Don’t teach your kids how to properly use money. Embrace the “Easy come, easy go” philosophy. No one taught me about money and look how I turned out!

In the most basic sense, money is only a tool. Like any tool, it can be used properly or misused. Children taught to use money have a stable base to build on as they mature. Not understanding how to use money can be a crippling disability for someone’s entire life.

Don’t Teach Your Kids Proper Hygiene.

Let your kids know that they don’t need to practice proper body care and hygiene. After all, what could happen that could be that bad?

I am very close to reaching my 50th year of practicing Dentistry. After nearly half a century of experience, I can state that a lack of basic and oral hygiene ultimately leads to health problems. The sad truth is that many health problems are avoidable using basic hygiene practices.

Create “Junk Food Junkies”

Teach your kids the four basic food groups are sugar, salt, starches, and fats!

The USA is in the midst of an obesity epidemic! In 2025, the obesity rate for US adults is estimated to be around 40%. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported a 40.3% prevalence of obesity between August 2021 and August 2023.

The cure for obesity is education. Proper nutritional education is essential. Parents need to provide wholesome nutritious food. Most snacks and processed foods contain little nutrition and contain high sugar, salt, starches, and fat levels. 

Let Kids Know There’s a Pill for Everything

Want to chill out? There’s a pill for that! Want to lose weight? There’s a pill for that! Your sex life is not what you wanted it to be. There’s a pill for that! Blood pressure too high? Take a pill! Blood pressure too low? Take a pill! You’re sad? Take a pill!

They truly are pills for almost everything! But does that mean that medications are the correct answer?

In some cases, medicines are needed to treat or resolve certain problems. In many cases, pills are the “easy button” used to replace harder lifestyle or dietary changes. Teach kids that pills are not the easy way out. Many times in life, the harder path is the correct one.

Teach Kids to Trash the Environment

It’s our world and we can do what we want with it!

Regardless of environmental position, every person should be a steward of our world. Much damage has been done to our world in the last few centuries. There is much discussion as to whether this damage is temporary or permanent. There is very little we can do to correct the past damage. There is a lot we can do to prevent future damage and to preserve the world for future generations.

The topics in the manner they were presented above are not healthy for you or your children. 

Here are better ideas that can help someone move towards healthy parenting:

  • Communicate openly and listen to their children’s feelings without judgment.
  • Set clear, consistent, and age-appropriate boundaries.
  • Provide unconditional love and affection.
  • Help children develop problem-solving skills and learn from their mistakes.
  • Seek professional help if they feel overwhelmed or suspect their child is struggling with mental health issues. 

Final Thoughts

Children are created, shaped, and molded by their parents. This can be good or bad depending on the path parents use to raise children.

There is probably a tiny bit of these behaviors in each of us. 

Neither parents nor children are perfect.

Parents are responsible for their children’s mental, physical, and social well-being. This is especially true during their formative years.

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